Oh yes, I make my own croissants … said no-one, ever

Do you find that there are foods that it doesn’t even cross your mind to make at home? Products that you just pick up off the shelf or out of the refrigerated aisle like an automaton?

For example, who the hell makes croissants at home when they are so many extraordinary examples to be found in artisan bakeries up and down the land?


I do.croissant

Because I’ve been living with food intolerance for 11 years, and 11 years ago you were lucky to even find pasta that didn’t disintegrate upon contact with hot water.

If I wanted a bagel, pitta bread, sweet potato fries, brioche, tortellini, or gnocchi I had to make it myself. I’ve made yoghurt with lactose-free milk and icecream from coconut milk. I’ve even made marzipan out of macadamias, although I’m buggered if I can remembered why. What’s even more bizarre is that at the time I didn’t have a food processor so had to chop the nuts to a ridiculously fine crumb BY HAND. Nope, no idea. It was frickin’ delicious though.

Also on the list along the same vein are:

  • Crumpets
  • Pita bread
  • Granola
  • Corn tortillas
  • Yoghurt
  • Croissants
  • Dry roasted peanuts
  • Corn dogs
  • And the piece de resistance: Findus Crispy Pancakes!

These days, things are better for us food freaks; now you can by a great deal more than just cakes and biscuits in the ‘free from’ aisle – apparently that’s all coeliacs needed in the early noughties. So these days I just take on these ridiculous kitchen escapades for fun. Yes, fun.

This week I have a hankering for spelt croissants, but in the meantime, this story might keep you amused:

French mock Tesco




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